Favorite Razorisms of 2008

by Chelsea

If you’ve ever listened to the other team’s broadcast, or watched a game that doesn’t involve the Stars, you’ve probably spent half the time wishing you had Ralph and Razor instead of those homers who don’t know what they’re talking about. Sure, some other teams do have good play-by-play or color commentary guys, but they just never seem to compare. 

What better way to remember some of our favorite moments from 2008 than through the voices of the duo that was there through it all?

Because this blog is new and written by people with bad memory, all of the ones in this post are actually from the 2008 part of the 08-09 season. If anyone has some of their own favorites, say from the end of 07-08, they should absolutely contribute!


After the Stars lost their first two games of their late-October, early-November road trip:
– “Your special teams (powerplay and penalty killing) are the electrical. Right now – they aren’t up to code and are probably a fire hazard.” – Razor, in an analogy about how the team is a house in need of repair.

From the 12/02/08 game against the Calgary Flames:
-“That’s an elbow-rectomy.” – Razor, after Chris Conner had his face introduced to someone’s elbow for about the fifth time in that game.

From the 12/13/08 game against the Nashville Predators:
– “Left hand larcenous glove grab of the highest order!” – Razor, after Tobias Stephan made a highlight reel glove save.

After it was announced Sean Avery would not be returning to the Stars:
– “For this hockey team, the 08-09 Stars, the guy was like a skating, swaggering, insolent, Gucci-labeled case of necrotizing fasciitis.” – Razor, in why Avery was so toxic to the team.  

From the 12/23/08 game against the Toronto Maple Leafs:
– “Steve, Santa’s not going to come to your door if you keep that up.” – Razor, while the camera was on a very smug Steve Ott, who’d just successfully agitated a Leaf into taking a penalty
 – “Nik Hagman tried to pull a Ribeiro on Ribeiro, and it didn’t work” – Ralph, after Niklas Hagman tried to puckhandle around Mike Ribeiro unsuccessfully.

I don’t have the direct quote, but Razor telling Ric Renner that his hair looks like something out of a boy band also absolutely belongs on this list. 


The Stars have their first game of 2009 tonight against the Oilers, in Edmonton. Ought to be a good showing, with both teams well rested and fighting to climb into playoff spot territory. Here’s to great start (and another great year of Ralph and Razor)!


3 Comments to “Favorite Razorisms of 2008”

  1. You can’t forget Razor on the Star’s powerplay:

    ” The Star’s powerplay this year is just…… flacid!”


  2. I have to give credit where credit is due. Razor coined “that petulant little ice troll” for Steve Ott and it stuck, at least at our house. 🙂

  3. You forgot his best one yet. It was one he used like 5 or 6 years ago and brought back last weekend (i think?)

    “step up like a dwarf at a urinal”

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